The button was pushed

Warning, I have the flu and am feeling sarcastic and a bit pissy today...

Here I am years later, in pain, without a job or disability coverage with 2 more beautiful, yet rambunctious boys (4 and 5) who's existance is quite a story in itself. (another day)  I am a stay at home mom, or call me disabled, both would be the correct answer.  RSD (pain disorder) is an autoimmune disease.  That means that my own body destroys itself (in this case nerves).

Unfortunately when you push the autoimmune button rarely are you fortunate enough to have just one condition.  You body keeps fighting, to destroy and to survive.

 I have autoimmune panhypopituitaryism.  A fancy term really for a condition where my pituitary gland (which regulates almost all your hormones) has been severely damaged.  Answer, more meds, for thyroid, adrenal and estrogen production.  More needed like growth hormone but when do you say enough.  But it didn't end there.

I now have Multiple Sclerosis.  A disease in which my own body eats away at the neuron sheath in my brain causing lesions. Those lesions cause a multitude of different symptoms that can never be healed.

1. Severe fatigue.  (imagine the worst flu you ever had and multiply the fatigue by 1000.  That is a good day)

2. Memory Loss (short and long term. again, another day)

3. Anxiety and Depression  (if having the disease alone wasn't enough to cause)

4. Balance and walking issues

5. Pain (yup more)

6. and finally exacerbations that make you feel like you are dying where the treatment is almost worse (high high dose IV steroids)

Yup, physically I am a mess.  Emotionally, yeah probably there too... 

All began from a fall.  Would it have happened anyway, who knows.  But here I am...