Birthday

Birthday  29?  Nope not anymore 37.
Half way through my life though I like to think of it as experienced.
We all think what happens next?
Graduations, retirement, maybe wrinkles.
The mortality of life is there but obscure.
It is not the mortality that I am afraid of.
What happens next when you wonder will my future be a wheelchair, extreme pain, or not knowing my own childen's faces.
What do you do when your mind goes there at three in the morning?  Do you go along?  Do you plan ahead, more then a bucket list, but what your life will be like or what you will need.
Do you write goodbye letters to your children at 37?  Do you plan your death.  I find that so much easier to do then plan my life.  To know that your husband probably will have to make that decision to withdraw care.  No longer hypothetical but real.